We are halfway through the month of February, and so much has happened within this short span of time. It suffices to say that so far 2016 has been E-V-E-N-T-F-U-L for me.
Going into this new year, I already anticipated January would be busy since I was sending out some applications that had the end of the month as the deadline, what I did NOT anticipate was that I would find myself in the ER twice and have my phone break twice amidst other unplanned expenses that drained out all of my savings. During this period, I have learned to depend on God, on His provision and on His timing. Indeed He is Yahweh Yireh (God my provider; God has provided).
I have also been tested a great deal in my personal life and at work, and have been challenged in ways that I honestly have begun to doubt myself and lose confidence; nonetheless I see this as a good thing in the sense that when I am weak then I am strong because His power is made perfect in weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9-11). My prayer more and more has been for God to transform me into His likeness, this results in him breaking me apart, tearing away the old self, the old ways and making me into something new and beautiful, and oh is it a gruesome and humiliating process. When one really pauses to hear God’s word, to be present in His word, to repent wholeheartedly, then the heart of stone is revealed and eventually transformed and the desire and passion for God is even greater. To me, once again He has won the victory in my life. God’s grace and mercy sure do taste sweeter in those instances.
Two things that have stood out the most in the past month and a half are:
2 Timothy 2:13- if we are faithless he remains faithful for he cannot deny himself.
It is God’s nature to be faithful and it is not dependent on what you or I do. For it is said that if you deny him, he will deny you. Jesus is totally committed to himself. I was really convicted about this because we get caught up in Bible slogans without context, picking up verses to make ourselves feel better. In meditating on God’s word more and more, I have been praying and asking for understanding on this matter and asking for forgiveness when so many times before I picked up verses without focusing on context to fit my feelings and emotions. It is not about my feelings, or what my heart may seem to tell me but rather God’s nature that is unchanging even before the world began, before you and I came into existence.
Secondly and lastly 1 Corinthians 13 7-8: “7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 8 Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away.”
I will write more later. For now bye. I haven’t slept in over 20 hours…