A void and the inexistent god

Me: Congratulations on your wedding and on your marriage.

G: Oh thanks Akorfa, so do you have a boyfriend now?

Me: Jesus is my boyfriend.

G: That is good but not good, if you say that then there is no void or vacuum in your heart. You wouldn’t want to meet anyone or be motivated to go out and find a boyfriend. You need someone to fill that void. [and he went on and on and on] 

Me (my mind): Well um, if I remember correctly, God saw that it was not good for man to be alone and that was when he brought him Eve. GOD SAW THAT…, not man. Adam was just going about his business, performing his duties.

I love you G :). But in all seriousness, I wonder if he heard himself as he said those words to me. I imagine because he is in the newlywed daze, he wants everyone to share in the same sentiment; I am thankful he is concerned for me in that way. When I say Jesus is my boyfriend, I am not mocking his sovereignty or reducing Him to fit my need, to make myself better. Rather, I am conveying in simple words, this broken girl’s heart’s utter delight and whole hearted dependence on Him. Just as He is the father to the fatherless he is as scripture says:  close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. This is the same brokenness that He delights in, which He does not despise. When you read Psalm 119, we are shown the heart of one who delights and yearns to be utterly consumed by God, His commandments, His statutes.

There is no need for a vacuum, or if there is, then it must be filled with God. I do not want a boyfriend or husband to fill a void or vacuum because he cannot; only God can satisfy the thirsty and fill the hungry. 

We went on to talk about other things, and the complexity of how our faith grows or diminishes as we go through trials and temptations. Unfortunately, when we doubt, we are unstable, double-minded and can be tossed by the sea as it pleases. When that happens we attribute to God failure and loss. In doing so, we have become the judge, we have created a god that we are angry at, an inexistent God: prayers are not being answered and gruesome moments turn to gruesome periods.

Seek Him earnestly, seek Him undoubtedly, and you will find Him watching you from afar and running towards you; only to realise that He was there waiting all along with outstretched arms. 

Now we are in February

We are halfway through the month of February, and so much has happened within this short span of time. It suffices to say that so far 2016 has been E-V-E-N-T-F-U-L for me.

Going into this new year, I already anticipated January would be busy since I was sending out some applications that had the end of the month as the deadline, what I did NOT anticipate was that I would find myself in the ER twice and have my phone break twice amidst other unplanned expenses that drained out all of my savings. During this period, I have learned to depend on God, on His provision and on His timing. Indeed He is Yahweh Yireh (God my provider; God has provided).

I have also been tested a great deal in my personal life and at work, and have been challenged in ways that I honestly have begun to doubt myself and lose confidence; nonetheless I see this as a good thing in the sense that when I am weak then I am strong because His power is made perfect in weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9-11). My prayer more and more has been for God to transform me into His likeness, this results in him breaking me apart, tearing away the old self, the old ways and making me into something new and beautiful, and oh is it a gruesome and humiliating process. When one really pauses to hear God’s word, to be present in His word, to repent wholeheartedly, then the heart of stone is revealed and eventually transformed and the desire and passion for God is even greater. To me, once again He has won the victory in my life. God’s grace and mercy sure do taste sweeter in those instances.

Two things that have stood out the most in the past month and a half are:

2 Timothy 2:13- if we are faithless he remains faithful for he cannot deny himself.

It is God’s nature to be faithful and it is not dependent on what you or I do. For it is said that if you deny him, he will deny you. Jesus is totally committed to himself. I was really convicted about this because we get caught up in Bible slogans without context, picking up verses to make ourselves feel better. In meditating on God’s word more and more, I have been praying and asking for understanding on this matter and asking for forgiveness when so many times before I picked up verses without focusing on context to fit my feelings and emotions. It is not about my feelings, or what my heart may seem to tell me but rather God’s nature that is unchanging even before the world began, before you and I came into existence.

Secondly and lastly 1 Corinthians 13 7-8: “7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 8 Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away.”

I will write more later. For now bye. I haven’t slept in over 20 hours…

Love,

Me.

Trying to beat the clock

Psalm 100:4-5New International Version (NIV)

Enter his gates with thanksgiving
    and his courts with praise;
    give thanks to him and praise his name.
For the Lord is good and his love endures forever;
    his faithfulness continues through all generations.

It is New Year’s eve, what are you up to? I am supposed to be getting ready to leave for church in thirty minutes; which I believe I can do and get a blog out. Man this year has been EVENTFUL. Just like for anyone else, there have been highs and lows, and in all I give thanks to GOD.

I usually have something prepared before I write a post because I want to be intentional and purposeful about this blog but I’m at a loss for words at the moment. You know, even when there are no words to say, there is always gratitude in my heart, I am sure we can all agree that there is an infinite supply of things in our lives to be thankful for.

I am thankful for you and yours, I am thankful for this blog, I am thankful for my family and friends, I am thankful for my work and the people I serve, I am thankful for this world I live in. I am thankful for my life and all that it is and more. Most of all I thank you Lord for being my Saviour and that of the world. I thank you Lord for everything.

LOOKING FORWARD TO A BIGGER BETTER 2016

This is what the Lord says— he who made a way through the sea, a path through the mighty waters, “Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.

Isaiah 43:16, 18-19 NIV

NOVEMBER

I just wanted to write something before the end of November, I love this month and I am grateful for it. It includes the birthdays of so many wonderful people whom I love, adore and admire.

I am grateful to God for the month of November and for this new season of Advent, of what it means. The birth of our saviour Jesus Christ.

1 Thessalonians 5:18 “…give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”

THANKFUL

My neck of the woods is known for its merciless winter. So far, the weather has been AH-MAH-ZING. There has been some light snowfall and it hasn’t gone any lower than -10ºC. I am loving it! I’ll send you a picture when I remember to stop and stare 🙂

Thank you Jesus

Sound In the Storm

faithless-is-he-that-says-farewell-when-the-road-darkens-jrr-tolkien-eaad3

Mark 4:40. He said to his disciples, “Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?”

I am like those disciples most of the time, I get so afraid; I still doubt, I know I have faith, but if I were to put myself in those disciples’ shoes, we would all be in the same boat (pun intended). It saddens me to admit this, furthermore write it for you all to see. And then I remember God’s word that says nothing is hidden from Him, so I do not want to hide, not this time around; been there done that, it just plunges you deeper into darkness and self loathing.

Jesus Calms the Storm from Mark 4:35-5:1 is the scripture of reference. Jesus was in a boat with his disciples: men who walked with Him everyday, were enabled by Him to perform miracles themselves, who had witnessed and overcame frightening obstacles; and then there were fishermen in the boat: who were skilled in their trade and had experienced many squalls. Yet both parties, disciples and fishermen were AFRAID, SO AFRAID that they STILL HAD NO FAITH. Whereas Jesus was sound asleep in the storm. WOW! Isn’t it interesting that the Bible, personal revelations from God, testimonies from friends and family, and from witnesses all around the world do not suffice to drive out fear. It’s because we haven’t fully grasped that Jesus is enough, we still think our experiences, our skills, and knowledge have to combine with our faith to produce confidence. We forget that these things are gifts from God, in the end we don’t own anything because it all belongs to HIM.FORGIVE US LORD. FORGIVE ME

Father, I want to be in the storm and not be afraid, I want to be able to sleep through the storm with the full confidence of your presence.

What have been your reactions towards some of the “furious squalls” of your life? Are you still afraid or have you conquered that fear by God’s grace?