Me: Congratulations on your wedding and on your marriage.
G: Oh thanks Akorfa, so do you have a boyfriend now?
Me: Jesus is my boyfriend.
G: That is good but not good, if you say that then there is no void or vacuum in your heart. You wouldn’t want to meet anyone or be motivated to go out and find a boyfriend. You need someone to fill that void. [and he went on and on and on]
Me (my mind): Well um, if I remember correctly, God saw that it was not good for man to be alone and that was when he brought him Eve. GOD SAW THAT…, not man. Adam was just going about his business, performing his duties.
I love you G :). But in all seriousness, I wonder if he heard himself as he said those words to me. I imagine because he is in the newlywed daze, he wants everyone to share in the same sentiment; I am thankful he is concerned for me in that way. When I say Jesus is my boyfriend, I am not mocking his sovereignty or reducing Him to fit my need, to make myself better. Rather, I am conveying in simple words, this broken girl’s heart’s utter delight and whole hearted dependence on Him. Just as He is the father to the fatherless he is as scripture says: close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. This is the same brokenness that He delights in, which He does not despise. When you read Psalm 119, we are shown the heart of one who delights and yearns to be utterly consumed by God, His commandments, His statutes.
There is no need for a vacuum, or if there is, then it must be filled with God. I do not want a boyfriend or husband to fill a void or vacuum because he cannot; only God can satisfy the thirsty and fill the hungry.
We went on to talk about other things, and the complexity of how our faith grows or diminishes as we go through trials and temptations. Unfortunately, when we doubt, we are unstable, double-minded and can be tossed by the sea as it pleases. When that happens we attribute to God failure and loss. In doing so, we have become the judge, we have created a god that we are angry at, an inexistent God: prayers are not being answered and gruesome moments turn to gruesome periods.
Seek Him earnestly, seek Him undoubtedly, and you will find Him watching you from afar and running towards you; only to realise that He was there waiting all along with outstretched arms.